Sunday, February 19, 2012

The beginning of my relationship with God . . . backtracking a bit


I was going to talk about all the wonderful things happening and work and the changes I plan on bringing, but after attending church today, I decided it was time to tell the tale of what was the REAL catalyst behind my desire for a relationship with God and how these changes in my life came about.   

It all started with the death of Aaron's buddy, Justin Ross, in Afghanistan.  You probably remember me writing about his funeral and how deeply it affected me.   What I didn't tell you was exactly WHY and HOW it affected me.   On September 30, after what was probably the worst summer of my life, I sent the following message on Facebook to Justin's dad.   Keep in mind, Justin's dad is a pastor, and so is his grandfather.  At Justin's service, his grandfather gave the sermon.  

Ron, I'm Aaron's mom. My husband and I were at Justin's funeral and spent a few minutes talking to you and your wife and family. Our son was with Justin on that mission and was about a foot or two behind Justin when he was killed. I can't begin to tell you how Justin's death affected Aaron. He's not talked about it since he's been home. He's changed, and grown up and simply different. He's no longer the boy that went to Afghanistan a year ago. He's now a grown man who has seen mankind at its absolute worst, and had to kill others so that he and his buddies would live. He's proud to be a Combat Engineer and I couldn't be prouder of him and all of our service men and women.

I'm sending you this message, because I've felt a need to for quite some time. This is going to sound strange, but I'm sure, as a Pastor, you've heard a lot of strange things.

You see, I was born Catholic, and each of my three children were baptized in the Catholic church. I never went to church much, mostly because it bored me, and my family rarely went. We were the "Christmas and Easter" type of "Catholics." The Catholic service was simply boring to me and did nothing for my faith. I'd been thinking about another type of church for a long time, but had never acted upon it.

When we were at Justin's funeral and listened to your father's sermon about Job, it made me want to read the Bible and learn the entire story. Of course, I had heard about the patience of Job, but I had never actually read the story in the bible. I was inspired, and had a hunger, a thirst, if you will, to learn more about God. It was amazing to me, how graceful and thankful you and your wife and family were at Justin's funeral. I just knew that I would never have been so graceful and amazing if that had been my son. I was amazed. I was witnessing the true grace of God in your family, but I didn't recognize it at the time.

Ron, I can't remember EVER being so moved by a service. It struck me in ways I can't explain.

That day, after Justin's funeral, we had to drive to Milwaukee for my husband's uncle's funeral the next day. His was a Catholic service. As I sat there, repeating lines and words that I learned way back in grade school, I kept remembering Justin's service. The difference was night and day. Although it was a very sad day, I left Justin's service feeling uplifted and closer to God and wanting to learn more and BE more, BE better, and BE the person God wants me to be. There was a hunger that I couldn't explain. As I left Uncle Babe's funeral, I had no such feeling. I felt empty.

I'm sending you this because I want you to know that Justin's service affected me in more ways than you can ever know. I've found a wonderful Assembly of God church here in Abbotsford, and am learning how to have a relationship with God that I never had before. The first time I went and listened to the singing and reading the words to the songs, I stood there with tears running down my face and didn't know why and couldn't explain it. I now know that the power of the Holy Spirit was there and was within me and that was why I was so moved and so emotional. I was literally begging and crying out for a relationship with God and I was being heard!

Ron, we were having a LOT of problems, between not having jobs (I was only working part-time and my husband was unemployed), and not being able to pay the bills, etc., and since realizing that we really needed God in our lives, things are starting to change. I'm starting a new, wonderful job on Monday, and things are looking up for my husband. I'm reading the Bible and trying to understand it all, and I'm praying and working on having a relationship with God. I'm no longer simply "praying," I'm actually feeling God's presence and answers to my prayers.

I don't know that this would all be happening if not for Justin's service. I don't think I can explain how much it affected me and my faith and how it has helped me to create a real and ever-lasting relationship with God. Many folks talk about how Justin is the very essence of a hero and gave his life for his country, and although that is so very true, I also believe that he gave his life to help save ME and to help me to forge the relationship with God that I so desperately needed, and that you and your family helped me to establish.

I still haven't gotten to the story of Job, but that's only because I decided that I needed to actually read the whole Bible and not just certain passages. I started reading the Bible two weeks ago, and am almost done with Numbers (Leviticus was NOT exciting reading, to be sure, and I skimmed over a bunch of it, but I'm pretty sure I'm forgiven for that). BUT, I'm excited to read and learn more, and more importantly, I'm excited about my new-found relationship with God. I truly must thank Justin and your family for that, because without that, I think I'd still be totally lost.

I will forever have Justin and your family in my prayers and cannot thank you enough for what your family's sacrifice has done for me and my family. 

I wasn't sure what kind of reaction I would receive from Justin's dad, but I knew I had to tell him what Justin did for me.   Pastor Ron responded to me saying:


Julie, What an amazing story And just when I needed a boost to my faith! I sit here with tears of joy knowing God has encouraged ms through you... What's amazing is that Jesus would have died for you if you'd have been the only one who would have accepted his sacrifice. Thanks so much You know the verse we have stood on is John 12:24
You are the first fruit!

Justin was a young man I had never met, yet he and his family affected me so profoundly and completely it totally changed my life.  


The reason I'm telling you this is because at church today, we had a pastor speak who has known Pastor Ron and his family for years.  You see, Justin's dad told Pastor Gayland my "story" that I had sent to him.  Pastor Gayland was supposed to attend our church service back on New Year's Day, but we had nasty weather and he and his wife weren't able to make it.  They were able to come to our church today and Pastor Gayland spoke to us regarding Missions.  It was a wonderful sermon and his preaching with regard to the folks that do not know Jesus struck a chord with me.  I hadn't really "known" Jesus for most of my life.  In fact, I'm just now learning and will forever be learning about our amazing Lord and Savior.  

When the service was over, I waited to speak with Pastor Gayland and his wife, and when I introduced myself, they both knew who I was!  It was a wonderful to meet them both, and Pastor Gayland even asked if he could share my "story!"  Absolutely, YES!   It was a wonderful day and I'm so happy that I was able to meet Pastor Gayland and his lovely wife.  God is good and He's making amazing, incredible things happen in our lives! 

May you all be blessed with His grace! 

Blessings to all! 

Julie