I don't know how much I've talked about when Greg was first diagnosed with cancer in this blog, but the 28th anniversary of that is tomorrow, Holy Thursday. The only reason I remember the date is because it was Holy Thursday. I'm sure I could go look up what day Holy Thursday was in 1992, but why bother. It's not that important. What's important is that it was 28 years ago when Greg had his first cancer diagnosis and I remember that day like it was yesterday.
Greg was scheduled for day surgery at a hospital across from the Zoo in Milwaukee. I don't recall the name of the hospital, but it's not there any more. His parents were babysitting Aaron, who was just a year old and we had just had his first birthday party the week before. The surgery was for a lump near his groin. The doctors weren't sure what it was. In the previous year, they had found "something" in his gut area, but all the tests came back inconclusive, so they were just "watching and waiting" to see if anything developed. When he found the lump near his groin, they decided that they needed to operate to find out what it was.
It didn't seem to be a big deal, so I was alone at the hospital. I was all of 26 years old and Greg was 35. After what seemed like an inordinate amount of time, I went up to the nurse's desk and asked what was taking so long. They said they would check with the operating room staff and let me know. Next thing I know, a nurse is coming out in scrubs, telling me that they would like permission to cut Greg's gut open, because they think they know what might be going on, but they need permission. So, I signed the form.
A while later, I don't remember how long, the doctor came out to sit and talk to me. He told me that Greg had cancer. He was not comfortable telling me this, and I remember feeling like this is not the kind of thing he is used to telling people! I asked some questions, and felt like I was doing OK, until they handed me a box of Kleenix! That's when I lost it. He said when they took out the lump near his groin, they realized it was lymphoma, and wanted to take a look at his gut. He said it was riddled with cancer, and there was nothing they could actually remove, because there are too many lymph nodes that are in that part of the body and were diseased. They checked all his other organs and put everything back where it belonged and stitched him back up.
I remember calling Greg's mom and telling her that her oldest son had cancer, and that I wasn't sure what time I would be picking up Aaron, because we had to get Greg settled in a room.
The doctor and I agreed that we would wait until tomorrow to tell Greg that he had cancer. At one point, Greg did say to me "what happened, it feels like they ripped my stomach open!" I looked at him and said "They DID!" Ha, ha!
I remember, after getting Greg situated in his room, that it was time for me to leave. As I was walking to my van in the parking lot, I heard someone calling my name. Confused, I turned to look, and there was Greg's sister, Jody! She told me that their mom had called her at work to tell her about Greg's cancer, and she left work, telling her boss that her brother was just diagnosed with cancer and her sister-in-law shouldn't be all alone at a time like this! That was probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me before or since! I was pretty much in shock, and trying to figure out how I was going to work the next day, and do everything that needed to be done with a one year old baby, all by myself, when I had just been told that my husband had cancer. Jody and I went into the hospital and she visited with Greg for a bit, and then we left so he could get some sleep.
The internet hadn't been invented by Al Gore yet, so there was no going home and doing research. There was just going home and taking care of my baby boy.
I remember telling my boss that I would not be at work the next day, but having to stop in the office to pick up my shoes for Easter Sunday service! I always wore tennis shoes to work, and kept all my "heels" at my desk, so I didn't have any shoes at home to wear to church on Sunday! LOL
I then went to the hospital and the doctor and I sat with Greg and told him he had cancer. Specifically, he had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and needed to start chemotherapy within a week. We had a lot of decisions to make at that point, as we discovered that chemo could make you sterile, and I wasn't done having babies! (Spoiler Alert: We had two more babies! Ha, ha!) We ended up freezing as much sperm as we could before chemo started (that's a whole 'nother story in and of itself that I won't go into here).
So many memories. So many feelings. This time of year always pulls me in a direction I don't like to go. We've had so many crisis issues during the Easter season. I'm always somewhat fearful of this time of year and am always grateful for Easter Sunday for so many reasons. With Greg's current health situation and the Corona Virus, it's been more stressful this year than ever before.
But, Sunday, April 12, 2020 is not only Easter Sunday, it is also Aaron's 29th birthday, AND the 20th Anniversary of Greg's Bone Marrow Transplant! Be on the lookout for more memories on Easter Sunday! We have been through a lot, but we are well and truly blessed!
Love to all!
