Today, Greg went to see the surgeon who installed his PEG tube (a/k/a Dr. McDreamy). He had still been having problems with the feeding tube oozing and of course, pain. The pain is getting better, but not the oozing. I've had to change the gauze around it a couple times a day and of course flush it at least once a day, usually more.
Well, Greg has been feeling VERY bloated and his stomach has been somewhat distended, so he talked to McDreamy about that, too. Welllllllll, it turns out that he's taking in a lot of air when he eats, because of the way he has to eat now. Soooooooo, at least once a day (usually before bed), he has to lay flat on his back, while I hold the tube up in the air to let the fluid drain into his stomach, and then I have to open it to BURP HIM! Yes, I have to BURP HIM THROUGH HIS FEEDING TUBE! That just totally cracks me up! And don't worry, if it ends up being something really cool, like you can hear the gas escaping, we'll be sure to videotape it for your viewing pleasure!!!
It's a good thing we can both laugh about this. I mean, let's face it, if we don't laugh, we'll cry. Oh, yes, the things I do for my husband!
Hope you laughed, or at least smiled reading this!
Blessings to all!
Julie
Greg's Go Fund Me
Friday, April 28, 2017
Monday, April 24, 2017
Aaaand . . . another trip to the Emergency Room!
As you already know, Greg had a PEG tube (feeding tube) put in on Thursday. He was in a lot of pain at the hospital and that pain didn't get much better over the weekend. I knew he was in a lot of pain, because he was cranky (VERY cranky), and very contrary -- and by that I mean, he argued with everything I said. If I would say the sky was blue, he'd say it was grey. Yea, that's how he gets when he's in pain. Now, mind you, he's in pain every day, from the nerve damage from his shingles two years ago, so this was a different kind of pain. He said it felt like he was being stabbed in the gut. That's just not good!
So, this morning, when I wasn't supposed to have to get up until 6:30 to start work in my new home office at 7 a.m., I ended up being awake at 5 a.m. to take Greg to the Emergency Room. I was up early because that's when my body made me get up. I knew Greg was still in a lot of pain, and I thought it best to get to the ER before the day starts and they get too busy. Why make Greg suffer any more than he already was.
We got to the hospital around 5:30 a.m., and they did their usual thing getting him into a gown, history, etc.. Then they wanted to put an IV in, so we asked for an anesthesiologist. They weren't very happy about that, and basically insisted that they have to try before they can call an anesthesiologist. Well, WE weren't happy about that, either, so we decided to wait on the IV, because, what if they don't need it? Most times, an IV in the ER is simply standard procedure, as a "just in case." I'm not willing to have Greg be poked numerous times on a "just in case" so we made them wait until the ER doc decided that Greg needed a CT scan (they have to inject stuff for that), so that's when we said OK. As always, the first nurse could not get it in, so another nurse had to try. She got it on her first try, but I have to say, if she didn't make it, and he would have had to be stabbed a third time, I would have made a call to the hospital administrator to complain. It's nothing against the nurses. I know they are just doing their job. Greg's veins are horrible from all the chemo he's received over the years, and I just can't handle seeing him wincing in pain from people trying to insert an IV. Seriously, those things HURT under normal circumstances! I really can't wait for Greg to get his PICC line next Monday so he doesn't have to keep getting stabbed multiple times.
Anyway, they gave him some very strong pain meds, and that really didn't do much to relieve the pain. He was sent for a chest X-ray because he has so much wheezing (from his sinusitis issues), and then he had to have CT scan of his stomach to see what was up with the PEG tube.
He also had some albuterol treatments because of the wheezing (as seen in this picture on the left).
After the CT scan, the ER doc looked at the scans and showed them to us. It appeared that the inside of the tube (which has a balloon on it to keep the tube in place, and the outside of the tube, where there is a circular "retention ring" that keeps the tube from going into the stomach. (Peg Tube Parts) So, it's being held on both sides, and was too squished together, or too tight, and that's what was causing all his pain, and that's also why the pain wouldn't go away. Looking at the picture linked above, what's between the balloon (inside the stomach) and the retention ring (outside the stomach) is skin and well, belly fat. If it's all being pinched together constantly, nothing is going to make the pain go away until you relieve the pressure.
The surgeon who placed the PEG tube checked the CT scans and had one of his partners, who was already in the hospital for other procedures, come and look at Greg and then turn the retention ring to loosen the pressure. There was an immediate sense of relief! Not complete, but definitely a difference! Greg had watched some of this on YouTube when he was investigating his pain, and told me that I could have done that. Sure, and if I did, knowing our luck, his guts would have started spurting out! Nope, not doing that! 😆
We were able to leave the hospital a short time later, and after the 30 minute drive home, Greg was HUGELY better! YAY! Praise God! I must say though, Greg is really pushing this "in sickness and in health" vow I made almost 28 years ago! HA!
So, my first day of work in my new home office didn't quite go as planned. Instead of starting at 7 this morning, I started at 10:30. Once again, my supervisor was fabulous about me being gone! I now understand why God didn't have me get that position I applied for a month and a half ago. Had I gotten that position, I would not be able to work at home, because you have to be in a position for a year before you can go home! Being able to be home is an integral part of Greg's care, as I can actually concentrate on work while I'm working and not worry about how Greg's feeling. If I were at work, I know I would be worrying about him at home alone, instead of concentrating on work. As always, God knows what's best for me, and, although it doesn't happen all the time, I now know why I did not get that position.
I was able to get six hours in today, and will make up an additional two hours later this week. Should be easy enough to do, because I have a feeling it's going to take my body a while to get used to sleeping as late as 6:30 a.m.! LOL
As always, your prayers are appreciated!
Blessings to all of you!
Julie
Greg's Go Fund Me
So, this morning, when I wasn't supposed to have to get up until 6:30 to start work in my new home office at 7 a.m., I ended up being awake at 5 a.m. to take Greg to the Emergency Room. I was up early because that's when my body made me get up. I knew Greg was still in a lot of pain, and I thought it best to get to the ER before the day starts and they get too busy. Why make Greg suffer any more than he already was.
We got to the hospital around 5:30 a.m., and they did their usual thing getting him into a gown, history, etc.. Then they wanted to put an IV in, so we asked for an anesthesiologist. They weren't very happy about that, and basically insisted that they have to try before they can call an anesthesiologist. Well, WE weren't happy about that, either, so we decided to wait on the IV, because, what if they don't need it? Most times, an IV in the ER is simply standard procedure, as a "just in case." I'm not willing to have Greg be poked numerous times on a "just in case" so we made them wait until the ER doc decided that Greg needed a CT scan (they have to inject stuff for that), so that's when we said OK. As always, the first nurse could not get it in, so another nurse had to try. She got it on her first try, but I have to say, if she didn't make it, and he would have had to be stabbed a third time, I would have made a call to the hospital administrator to complain. It's nothing against the nurses. I know they are just doing their job. Greg's veins are horrible from all the chemo he's received over the years, and I just can't handle seeing him wincing in pain from people trying to insert an IV. Seriously, those things HURT under normal circumstances! I really can't wait for Greg to get his PICC line next Monday so he doesn't have to keep getting stabbed multiple times.
Anyway, they gave him some very strong pain meds, and that really didn't do much to relieve the pain. He was sent for a chest X-ray because he has so much wheezing (from his sinusitis issues), and then he had to have CT scan of his stomach to see what was up with the PEG tube.
He also had some albuterol treatments because of the wheezing (as seen in this picture on the left).
After the CT scan, the ER doc looked at the scans and showed them to us. It appeared that the inside of the tube (which has a balloon on it to keep the tube in place, and the outside of the tube, where there is a circular "retention ring" that keeps the tube from going into the stomach. (Peg Tube Parts) So, it's being held on both sides, and was too squished together, or too tight, and that's what was causing all his pain, and that's also why the pain wouldn't go away. Looking at the picture linked above, what's between the balloon (inside the stomach) and the retention ring (outside the stomach) is skin and well, belly fat. If it's all being pinched together constantly, nothing is going to make the pain go away until you relieve the pressure.
The surgeon who placed the PEG tube checked the CT scans and had one of his partners, who was already in the hospital for other procedures, come and look at Greg and then turn the retention ring to loosen the pressure. There was an immediate sense of relief! Not complete, but definitely a difference! Greg had watched some of this on YouTube when he was investigating his pain, and told me that I could have done that. Sure, and if I did, knowing our luck, his guts would have started spurting out! Nope, not doing that! 😆
We were able to leave the hospital a short time later, and after the 30 minute drive home, Greg was HUGELY better! YAY! Praise God! I must say though, Greg is really pushing this "in sickness and in health" vow I made almost 28 years ago! HA!
So, my first day of work in my new home office didn't quite go as planned. Instead of starting at 7 this morning, I started at 10:30. Once again, my supervisor was fabulous about me being gone! I now understand why God didn't have me get that position I applied for a month and a half ago. Had I gotten that position, I would not be able to work at home, because you have to be in a position for a year before you can go home! Being able to be home is an integral part of Greg's care, as I can actually concentrate on work while I'm working and not worry about how Greg's feeling. If I were at work, I know I would be worrying about him at home alone, instead of concentrating on work. As always, God knows what's best for me, and, although it doesn't happen all the time, I now know why I did not get that position.
I was able to get six hours in today, and will make up an additional two hours later this week. Should be easy enough to do, because I have a feeling it's going to take my body a while to get used to sleeping as late as 6:30 a.m.! LOL
As always, your prayers are appreciated!
Blessings to all of you!
Julie
Greg's Go Fund Me
Sunday, April 23, 2017
Chemo will begin soon!
We got a call from the Cancer Center to advise us of Greg's chemo schedule. On Monday, May 1, 2017, he will have to go in and get his PICC line installed (he will not be getting a Hickman, as we previously thought). This will be a full day at the hospital. I'm not sure of the order of all of this, but here's what we will be doing. We will meet with the Oncologist to go over Greg's treatment plan. We will also meet with the Radiation Oncologist. Greg will have his first radiation treatment and then will have his first chemo treatment.
Radiation will be Monday through Friday (every day) for 6-1/2 to 7 weeks. The radiation itself is only about five minutes, and the whole appointment will be rather short. Greg will be driving himself unless and until such time comes as he's not feeling well enough to drive. If that appears to be on the horizon, we will be sure to let everyone know so we can get some volunteers to help take him, as we simply can't afford to have me take off work that much to take him. We are praying that never happens!
Greg will also have his first chemotherapy treatment on May 1. He will receive a drug called Cisplatin, which is one he had the first two times he had cancer. It takes 2-3 hours to administer the Cisplatin, so we will have some downtime while the poison is being pumped into his veins. I would apologize for calling it poison, but I'm not going to, because that is exactly what it is.
Once he's done with the Cisplatin, they will set him up with a pump, so he can receive a drug called 5FU on a continuous infusion for five days. When he goes in for radiation on Friday, they will remove the 5FU pump.
Greg will have the Cisplatin and 5FU approximately every four weeks, so he will have two courses of chemo during his radiation treatments and two courses of chemo after his radiation treatments. Based on this schedule, he should be all done with all treatment by the beginning of August. If that is the case, I'm hoping and praying that he will be feeling better (at least normal?) by the time of our son, Aaron's wedding in October.
Because I have the kind of job that United HealthCare allows telecommuters, I will start telecommuting tomorrow! I'm SO excited to be able to do this, and cannot thank my supervisor and manager enough for all their support! In order to work at home full time, I need to have a separate room for me to work. If you know what our house is like, then you know that we have an abundance of bedrooms to choose from! Ha! I chose Aaron's old room, as the heat works well in the winter, and it's always cooler in the summer, because it's in the lower level (we have a tri-level house).
In order to make that my office, I needed a desk! We went to EVERY STORE IN MARSHFIELD that sells furniture looking for a desk for me! I was amazed at what little choices we had, and quite disappointed! I did NOT want a cheap "Sauder" desk. We finally found a halfway decent desk at Walmart, and yes, it is a "Sauder" desk. 😒 Not exactly what I wanted, but it is what it is. In order to get the desk put together, we had to move the bed out of Aaron's room. Jessica and I did that, and then needed Abby's help to move it up to Erica's old room. We bought that bed when we moved to Sturtevant, in 1998. We moved up here and it went into Aaron's room. Aaron got a new bed and this one went upstairs to Erica's room. Erica got a new bed, so it went back downstairs to Aaron's room (he was not living at home any longer). And now, because Aaron's room is my new office, it has gone back up to Erica's room! That bed has gone up and down more than Seattle Slew! 😆 And, it's HEAVY! It doesn't use a box spring, as the mattress sits directly on the bed, with three drawers underneath.
Jessica and I (OK, mostly Jessica -- my dear friend and neighbor) put the desk together.
There were 18 steps to put it together! YIKES! Jessica did most of it, and I was just there for moral support and to hand her the pieces. We worked together very well, and only had to take apart one piece that we had put together wrong! I think that was pretty darned good! Abby came to help again, and put together my "cube" that you'll see in pictures below.
I'm SO happy with how my office turned out! Tomorrow is going to be a GREAT day at work! I can wake up at 6:30 and be at work by 7:00! No worries about hair, make-up, clothing, etc! And yes, I will begin each day at work in my jammies! How cool is that?!
Here's my new office:
I am so blessed to be able to work from home and to have this beautiful office to work in! We serve such an amazing God who is always good, all the time! We continue to praise Him as He guides us through this latest trial. We will get through this, with His help and grace.
Blessings to all!
Julie
Greg's GoFundMe
Radiation will be Monday through Friday (every day) for 6-1/2 to 7 weeks. The radiation itself is only about five minutes, and the whole appointment will be rather short. Greg will be driving himself unless and until such time comes as he's not feeling well enough to drive. If that appears to be on the horizon, we will be sure to let everyone know so we can get some volunteers to help take him, as we simply can't afford to have me take off work that much to take him. We are praying that never happens!
Greg will also have his first chemotherapy treatment on May 1. He will receive a drug called Cisplatin, which is one he had the first two times he had cancer. It takes 2-3 hours to administer the Cisplatin, so we will have some downtime while the poison is being pumped into his veins. I would apologize for calling it poison, but I'm not going to, because that is exactly what it is.
Once he's done with the Cisplatin, they will set him up with a pump, so he can receive a drug called 5FU on a continuous infusion for five days. When he goes in for radiation on Friday, they will remove the 5FU pump.
Greg will have the Cisplatin and 5FU approximately every four weeks, so he will have two courses of chemo during his radiation treatments and two courses of chemo after his radiation treatments. Based on this schedule, he should be all done with all treatment by the beginning of August. If that is the case, I'm hoping and praying that he will be feeling better (at least normal?) by the time of our son, Aaron's wedding in October.
Because I have the kind of job that United HealthCare allows telecommuters, I will start telecommuting tomorrow! I'm SO excited to be able to do this, and cannot thank my supervisor and manager enough for all their support! In order to work at home full time, I need to have a separate room for me to work. If you know what our house is like, then you know that we have an abundance of bedrooms to choose from! Ha! I chose Aaron's old room, as the heat works well in the winter, and it's always cooler in the summer, because it's in the lower level (we have a tri-level house).
In order to make that my office, I needed a desk! We went to EVERY STORE IN MARSHFIELD that sells furniture looking for a desk for me! I was amazed at what little choices we had, and quite disappointed! I did NOT want a cheap "Sauder" desk. We finally found a halfway decent desk at Walmart, and yes, it is a "Sauder" desk. 😒 Not exactly what I wanted, but it is what it is. In order to get the desk put together, we had to move the bed out of Aaron's room. Jessica and I did that, and then needed Abby's help to move it up to Erica's old room. We bought that bed when we moved to Sturtevant, in 1998. We moved up here and it went into Aaron's room. Aaron got a new bed and this one went upstairs to Erica's room. Erica got a new bed, so it went back downstairs to Aaron's room (he was not living at home any longer). And now, because Aaron's room is my new office, it has gone back up to Erica's room! That bed has gone up and down more than Seattle Slew! 😆 And, it's HEAVY! It doesn't use a box spring, as the mattress sits directly on the bed, with three drawers underneath.
Jessica and I (OK, mostly Jessica -- my dear friend and neighbor) put the desk together.
There were 18 steps to put it together! YIKES! Jessica did most of it, and I was just there for moral support and to hand her the pieces. We worked together very well, and only had to take apart one piece that we had put together wrong! I think that was pretty darned good! Abby came to help again, and put together my "cube" that you'll see in pictures below.
I'm SO happy with how my office turned out! Tomorrow is going to be a GREAT day at work! I can wake up at 6:30 and be at work by 7:00! No worries about hair, make-up, clothing, etc! And yes, I will begin each day at work in my jammies! How cool is that?!
Here's my new office:
I am so blessed to be able to work from home and to have this beautiful office to work in! We serve such an amazing God who is always good, all the time! We continue to praise Him as He guides us through this latest trial. We will get through this, with His help and grace.
Blessings to all!
Julie
Greg's GoFundMe
Thursday, April 20, 2017
Installation of the Feeding Tube
Not sure if that's the right thing to call it, but what else would you call it? He had surgery and they put in a feeding tube. They used the method shown in the video from yesterday's post if you want all the gory details.
We got to the hospital at about 9:45 this morning. Thanks to a suggestion from my dear friend, Wendy, we asked the nurse to have the anesthesiologist put in Greg's IV line. If you will recall, in recent weeks, he has had notoriously bad luck with having IVs put in because his veins are shot from all the chemo he's had over the years. The anesthesiologist did a GREAT job and it took only one poke. Greg said he didn't even feel it! That made me very happy! Thank you, Wendy! Until Greg gets his Hickman installed, we will only ever allow an anesthesiologist to put in an IV again!
OK, so a couple weeks ago, my brother had open heart surgery. He's doing well, but had some fluid in his lungs that needed to be removed and he was having that done today. I thought that was something that was going to be done in the doctor's office, but I guess not! As we were sitting in Greg's room in the surgical area, I heard my maiden name, and then my brother's voice! I walked out and saw my brother was in the room almost across the hall from us! Was certainly not expecting that! It was nice to be able to see him and his wife. We didn't really get to chat, because they had to take him to the procedure room to get that fluid off is lungs. I understand he's doing well now!
Greg was taken back to the OR around 11:15 and was back by noon! Dr. McDreamy said that everything went well with the tube. Unfortunately, Greg was in a LOT of pain. Now, Greg can handle pain. He's in pain daily. I've never seen him complain or fuss the way he was this time. The nurse called Dr. McDreamy, and he said he wasn't surprised because the way they had to position Greg, he probably didn't get the full effect of the local anesthetic. Poor Greg! He was able to get quite a bit of morphine while we were in the hospital and that helped, but not as much as one would hope. He's pretty sleepy here.
We didn't leave until about 1:30 p.m., and had to wait for the nurses to show me how to flush the tube, because it's not going to be used for a while (hopefully!), we don't want it to clog up, so I will have to flush it every day.
When the time comes that we will need to use the feeding tube, we will meet with the dietitian again and have some home health care set up, along with getting the "food" ordered for him. I'm not sure what the insurance is going to cover for all this, and I know that Medicare will not cover it because it's not permanent. Whatever it is, it is. I'm not going to worry about it. God will provide.
In case you're wondering, here's a picture of the tube. I'm guessing that you'd be surprised if I didn't post a picture of it! HA!
Eventually, the gauze underneath it will not be needed, but obviously, we need it for now. The other end of the tube actually has closures on it just like a blow-up mattress! That made me giggle.
We'd certainly appreciate your prayers that Greg's pain ends quickly! I really HATE to see him in so much pain!
Blessings to all,
Julie
We got to the hospital at about 9:45 this morning. Thanks to a suggestion from my dear friend, Wendy, we asked the nurse to have the anesthesiologist put in Greg's IV line. If you will recall, in recent weeks, he has had notoriously bad luck with having IVs put in because his veins are shot from all the chemo he's had over the years. The anesthesiologist did a GREAT job and it took only one poke. Greg said he didn't even feel it! That made me very happy! Thank you, Wendy! Until Greg gets his Hickman installed, we will only ever allow an anesthesiologist to put in an IV again!
OK, so a couple weeks ago, my brother had open heart surgery. He's doing well, but had some fluid in his lungs that needed to be removed and he was having that done today. I thought that was something that was going to be done in the doctor's office, but I guess not! As we were sitting in Greg's room in the surgical area, I heard my maiden name, and then my brother's voice! I walked out and saw my brother was in the room almost across the hall from us! Was certainly not expecting that! It was nice to be able to see him and his wife. We didn't really get to chat, because they had to take him to the procedure room to get that fluid off is lungs. I understand he's doing well now!
Greg was taken back to the OR around 11:15 and was back by noon! Dr. McDreamy said that everything went well with the tube. Unfortunately, Greg was in a LOT of pain. Now, Greg can handle pain. He's in pain daily. I've never seen him complain or fuss the way he was this time. The nurse called Dr. McDreamy, and he said he wasn't surprised because the way they had to position Greg, he probably didn't get the full effect of the local anesthetic. Poor Greg! He was able to get quite a bit of morphine while we were in the hospital and that helped, but not as much as one would hope. He's pretty sleepy here.
We didn't leave until about 1:30 p.m., and had to wait for the nurses to show me how to flush the tube, because it's not going to be used for a while (hopefully!), we don't want it to clog up, so I will have to flush it every day.
When the time comes that we will need to use the feeding tube, we will meet with the dietitian again and have some home health care set up, along with getting the "food" ordered for him. I'm not sure what the insurance is going to cover for all this, and I know that Medicare will not cover it because it's not permanent. Whatever it is, it is. I'm not going to worry about it. God will provide.
In case you're wondering, here's a picture of the tube. I'm guessing that you'd be surprised if I didn't post a picture of it! HA!
Eventually, the gauze underneath it will not be needed, but obviously, we need it for now. The other end of the tube actually has closures on it just like a blow-up mattress! That made me giggle.
We'd certainly appreciate your prayers that Greg's pain ends quickly! I really HATE to see him in so much pain!
Blessings to all,
Julie
Greg's GO FUND ME
Wednesday, April 19, 2017
Radiation Mask & Surgeon Visit
We went to see the radiation oncologist again yesterday because we had to have a "mask" made for Greg and have him get his tattoos for radiation. The reason for the mask is because of where the tumor is located, he needs to keep his head perfectly still for the radiation. The only way to assure that is to have a mask made.
We had no idea how this was done, so this was a learning experience for us! You'd think, with this being the third time he's had cancer, that we'd be old hands at all this, but there is a LOT to learn with this one! This first picture is of the "mask" in the warming tray. Greg was warned that it would be kind of warm when they first put it on him, but he said it wasn't too bad.
Here, they are fitting the correct "trays" (for lack of a better word) under Greg's neck and head, so that he's comfortable during the radiation treatment. Lifting the "mask" out of the tray to place on Greg's face.
The two techs are helping to form the mask to Greg, and his Radiation Oncologist is helping.
The mask is situated, and now Greg has to go through the CT scanner so they get a perfectly accurate reading of where the radiation beam needs to be aimed.
In these next two pictures, you can see where the radiation will be aimed.
In this picture, I zoomed in on the "bolts" that are attached to the mask and lock onto the table that Greg is laying on and will keep his head from moving during his radiation treatments.
And yes, it is VERY creepy!
Once we left the radiation oncologist, we had to head over to visit the surgeon. As you've previously read, we pretty much ruled out esophageal surgery, as it's just too difficult. Well, the surgeon told us just how difficult it is. Think of a scale of 1-10 with10 being the most difficult. A gallbladder would be a two. Open heart surgery would be a six. Surgery on the pancreas would be a 7. Surgery on the esophagus would be a ten! You'd pretty much hae to be in perfect physical condition to withstand this type of surgery, and we all know that that is not Greg's case. So, this only cemented the fact that we simply can NOT consider any sort of surgery. None of our doctors have said otherwise, and are most certainly not pushing us to attempt that option.
The other reason we needed to see the surgeon -- who by the way is GORGEOUS! Ha! Believe it or not, but Greg thought so too, and even called him McDreamy! LOL! -- but I digress. We went to see Dr. McDreamy because he is the one that is going to be placing the feeding tube for Greg. As previously stated, he needs to have this done prior to actually "needing" it, because by the time he "needs" it, he will be too weak to have the procedure.
So, tomorrow (April 20, 2017), we are scheduled for Greg to get the feeding tube. I almost wish he was getting the Hickman Catheter first, because then he wouldn't have to be stabbed to get the IV in! But, it is what it is.
After the procedure tomorrow, we have to meet with a dietitian so she can show me what and how to do "feed" Greg. I ended up in another fight with the insurance company over that. The woman that I was speaking to was trying to tell me that it would not be covered. She kept thinking that we were going for a nutritional consultation, which is only covered for diabetics, etc. She refused to understand that this was to TEACH ME HOW TO FEED MY HUSBAND WHO HAS ESOPHAGEAL CANCER AND WILL BE UNDERGOING RADIATION AND CHEMOTHERAPY AND NEEDS THE FEEDING TUBE BECAUSE HE WILL BE UNABLE TO EAT AT SOME POINT IN TIME!
She offered to have Greg's case reviewed by a nurse, but it would still be 24 to 48 hours before a decision was made. We just learned of the surgery on 04.18.17 at 2 p.m., and the surgery is to take place on 04.20.17. Forty-eight hours is still too long! She then told me that there was nothing more she could do. I absolutely LOST IT at that point. I told her that I hoped she never had to deal with something like this, and that if she did, she never had to deal with someone like herself, who was absolutely NO HELP AT ALL!
I then called our case manager and left it all in her hands. I should have just done that in the first place, but who'd have thought it would be such a huge deal?! For crying out loud! If they had just READ what we actually needed, there wouldn't have been such a huge issue! After advising Jeanne of the problem, she took over (and even had to go to her manager) and got it taken care of and we're covered. Whew!
So, that's the latest. I'll be taking my camera to the hospital tomorrow for more pictures. I wonder if I'll be able to convince McDreamy to have someone take pictures in the operating room! Ha!
If you're interested, and really want to see the gory details, here's a video all about inserting a feeding tube!
Blessings to all!
Julie
PS, our lovely daughter, Erica, has set up a GoFundMe page to help us defray the costs of travel daily for radiation and other healthcare costs. If you feel compelled to help us out, we certainly appreciate it! We know that our God is truly an awesome God and He will make sure that everything is taken care of!
Greg's GoFundMe
Friday, April 14, 2017
Consult with the Radiation Oncologist
So, the results from today's visit with the radiation oncologist were pretty good. It's still going to be rough, but it sounds a lot more hopeful than what we were previously led to believe.
They are proposing radiation EVERY DAY for about 6-1/2 weeks, yes, you read that correct EVERY DAY. I had no idea that they were open on weekends, too! On Tuesday, prior to meeting with the surgeon we will go back to the radiation clinic and they will do some more scans and tattoo Greg, so they know where to aim the radiation. They will also make a mesh-type mask for him, that will basically be bolted down, so his head cannot move during his radiation. He is kind of being treated as a head and neck cancer patient, rather than esophageal, and that's because of how high the tumor is. I'm not sure I said exactly where it is before, so, if you know where someone would put a trach in your neck, right in that space where your neck and chest meet, that's where the tumor is located.
Even though we are not going with any type of surgery, we are still seeing the surgeon on Tuesday. I think we mostly will talk about the feeding tube that Greg will most likely need. If he can keep eating and getting enough calories, we won't need to use the tube, but it needs to be there, just in case. As stated previously, the surgery is entirely too dangerous for him. It's at least 7 hours, and more difficult than open heart surgery! We are just not willing to take that chance.
He should be able to drive himself to his treatments, at least unless and until there comes a time when he's just too sick from the treatments. In that case, we are probably going to need some help from friends and family to drive him to his treatments. I still need to be able to work so we can pay our bills, so I don't know that I can take time off to take him every day. But, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
I'm still working on the second opinion at Mayo, and am hopeful that that can happen very quickly, as it looks like they want to start the radiation treatments as soon as possible. I really want to hear that what's being planned now is the best treatment option for Greg.
That's it for now. Obviously, we still want and need your prayers and are very grateful for them!
Thursday, April 13, 2017
25 Years Since First Cancer Diagnosis
Does that title say it all? Not quite. Today (Holy Thursday) marks 25 years since Greg was first diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. I'll never forget that day. I was a young wife of just 26 years old (the same age as our son is now!), with a one year old child (said son). Greg went in for day surgery to remove a lump near his groin. A couple hours into surgery, a nurse came out and said that they wanted to make another incision, to see what's in his gut (we had tests previously that all came back inconclusive), so I signed. A couple hours later, the doctor comes out to tell me my husband of 3 years (and only 35 years old), has cancer. This was supposed to be day surgery, but he ended up having to stay because of the huge incision in his gut. I remember having to call his mother to tell her, over the phone, that her son had cancer. His parents were babysitting Aaron for us. I was in shock. I remember calling his boss at Peck Meat Packing to tell him that Greg was not going to be back at work for a while.
The doctors and I had decided that we would not tell Greg of the diagnosis that day and would wait until the next day when he was more fully awake. I remember later in the day though, he woke up and said to me "What happened? It feels like they ripped my gut open!" I looked at him and simply said "They DID!" I stayed with him for a while and finally left to go get Aaron. As I was walking to my minivan in the parking lot, (no, I did not always drive a truck!), I heard someone holler my name. It was Greg's sister, Jody! Apparently, Greg's mother had called her and she left work because she didn't want me to be alone. That was very sweet of her! I remember being a little numb, as I was certainly not expecting to hear THAT news!
I always get a little melancholy on this day. I don't remember the exact date, but I will always remember that it was Holy Thursday. I'm amazed that it's been 25 years since that horrible day. I'm amazed that we have our two "miracle babies!" You see, Greg had to start chemo as quickly as possible, because he was already stage IV. For those that don't know, chemo can make you sterile and I wasn't done having kids! We were able to put off the chemo for a very short period of time, so we would be able to freeze some of Greg's sperm so we could try to have at least one more child.
Greg finished his chemo in September of 1992. In January of 1993, we had him tested, and there was no way I was going to get pregnant. There were simply NO swimmers. We decided to use what we had frozen, and went to see a specialist. The woman that we went to see kept insisting that I have a bunch of invasive tests done, including a biopsy of my cervix. I kept telling her that I was FINE. I already had a child. There's nothing wrong with me! We are simply there for her to use what we had frozen to get me pregnant. She kept insisting. I finally asked her if my insurance would cover it. She said that it should. I told her that I checked and it will not cover anything having to do with "achieving a pregnancy." Her response: "Well, then we don't need all those tests"! How HORRIBLE is that?! This woman wanted to put another woman through INVASIVE tests just to make money! I was FURIOUS! We walked out the door, never to return. I lost 30 pounds and in August, 1993 I got pregnant with Erica without having to use what we had frozen! Greg's oncologist was AMAZED that I had become pregnant not even a year after Greg had finished chemotherapy and only 8 months after being tested as sterile!!
We kept the sperm we had frozen until after Erica was born, just to make sure she didn't have any problems because of the chemo. Back then, it only cost us $100 a year to keep it frozen, so that was a very small price to pay! Needless to say, we did not need what we had frozen to have Abby, three years later, because Erica was perfect in every way! Our miracle babies, for sure!
So, that's the story of Greg's first diagnosis. Who'd have thought that 8 years after that, once again during the Easter season, that Greg would have a Bone Marrow Transplant, and 17 years after that, again during Easter, that he would be diagnosed with esophageal cancer. I have to admit, back when I was just 26 years old, I never thought this is how our lives would turn out. Life is funny that way. Actually God is funny that way! OK, so probably not so funny! BUT, He has been by our side through all of this. He has never left our side, even if we left His. After all, how many people can actually say they have survived 25 years after a cancer diagnosis!
May God bless you all!
Julie
The doctors and I had decided that we would not tell Greg of the diagnosis that day and would wait until the next day when he was more fully awake. I remember later in the day though, he woke up and said to me "What happened? It feels like they ripped my gut open!" I looked at him and simply said "They DID!" I stayed with him for a while and finally left to go get Aaron. As I was walking to my minivan in the parking lot, (no, I did not always drive a truck!), I heard someone holler my name. It was Greg's sister, Jody! Apparently, Greg's mother had called her and she left work because she didn't want me to be alone. That was very sweet of her! I remember being a little numb, as I was certainly not expecting to hear THAT news!
I always get a little melancholy on this day. I don't remember the exact date, but I will always remember that it was Holy Thursday. I'm amazed that it's been 25 years since that horrible day. I'm amazed that we have our two "miracle babies!" You see, Greg had to start chemo as quickly as possible, because he was already stage IV. For those that don't know, chemo can make you sterile and I wasn't done having kids! We were able to put off the chemo for a very short period of time, so we would be able to freeze some of Greg's sperm so we could try to have at least one more child.
Greg finished his chemo in September of 1992. In January of 1993, we had him tested, and there was no way I was going to get pregnant. There were simply NO swimmers. We decided to use what we had frozen, and went to see a specialist. The woman that we went to see kept insisting that I have a bunch of invasive tests done, including a biopsy of my cervix. I kept telling her that I was FINE. I already had a child. There's nothing wrong with me! We are simply there for her to use what we had frozen to get me pregnant. She kept insisting. I finally asked her if my insurance would cover it. She said that it should. I told her that I checked and it will not cover anything having to do with "achieving a pregnancy." Her response: "Well, then we don't need all those tests"! How HORRIBLE is that?! This woman wanted to put another woman through INVASIVE tests just to make money! I was FURIOUS! We walked out the door, never to return. I lost 30 pounds and in August, 1993 I got pregnant with Erica without having to use what we had frozen! Greg's oncologist was AMAZED that I had become pregnant not even a year after Greg had finished chemotherapy and only 8 months after being tested as sterile!!
We kept the sperm we had frozen until after Erica was born, just to make sure she didn't have any problems because of the chemo. Back then, it only cost us $100 a year to keep it frozen, so that was a very small price to pay! Needless to say, we did not need what we had frozen to have Abby, three years later, because Erica was perfect in every way! Our miracle babies, for sure!
So, that's the story of Greg's first diagnosis. Who'd have thought that 8 years after that, once again during the Easter season, that Greg would have a Bone Marrow Transplant, and 17 years after that, again during Easter, that he would be diagnosed with esophageal cancer. I have to admit, back when I was just 26 years old, I never thought this is how our lives would turn out. Life is funny that way. Actually God is funny that way! OK, so probably not so funny! BUT, He has been by our side through all of this. He has never left our side, even if we left His. After all, how many people can actually say they have survived 25 years after a cancer diagnosis!
May God bless you all!
Julie
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
Met with the Oncologist -- it's going to be rough!
I know that a lot of folks have been waiting for this update, and I apologize, but I was just not in the right frame of mind to be able to do any more than talk to a few people. There are some that I would have preferred to talk to before posting this, and for that I apologize. Please don't be offended if I didn't call you before you read this.
We met with the oncologist yesterday and unfortunately, there was not much good news. He told us about three options. First option is surgery. The doctor does not believe that Greg is a good candidate for surgery. Because of his congestive heart failure and pacemaker/defibrillator, he is at "significantly high risk for surgical complications," including having a heart attack on the operating table. In addition, because of where the mass is located, there may not be enough of his esophagus above the tumor to be able to resect it once the tumor is removed. He needs at least 5mm, and he doesn't think there's enough. Even with this information, we are meeting with a surgeon on Tuesday.
Another option is chemotherapy alone. Chemo alone is not enough to destroy the tumor and destroy the cancer. Period. We have already ruled this out.
Last option is radiation and chemotherapy. The radiation will reduce the size of the tumor and the chemotherapy will destroy the cancer. However, there are other risks. First, because he had total body radiation during his bone marrow transplant, he may have already had enough radiation that his body cannot handle any more. Greg's radiation records are on their way to the radiation oncologist so he will have that information prior to our appointment on Friday. Not only that, but the radiation is going to cause enough damage to his esophagus that he will end up with a feeding tube. That's not a "maybe." That is 100% guaranteed. It's not going to be pretty.
Chemotherapy is also going to be brutal. Because he has had so much chemotherapy in the past, and his body has been so ravaged by the chemotherapy, he will not be able to start out at the "normal" dose that most other people would receive. So, he would start that on a tapered dose. He would receive the chemo 24/7, and the radiation would be every couple of days (if I remember correctly). This would be a seven week course of treatment. He will also have another Hickman Catheter implanted because his veins are shot from all the chemo, and because of the way the chemo will be administered.
Once see the two specialists, they will meet with our oncologist and come up with a plan of action.
In the meantime, we are looking into getting a second opinion at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. Our insurance has a nice travel benefit to go to one of their "Centers of Excellence" for second opinions and treatment, so we are going to take advantage of that. Our Case Manager is doing some research to see who may be the best doctor to see us. One of the good things about Mayo is that they will have an entire team of specialists to review Greg's records and come up with a treatment plan. What we are looking for is for them to either tell us that the treatment plan our current team comes up with is the plan that they would recommend. If Mayo comes up with something different, then we are hoping our oncologist will be receptive to following the protocol that Mayo comes up with.
So, that's what's going on. It's going to be brutal. There's no other way to describe it. I don't know why the enemy is fighting so hard for us, but we are not giving in. Our God is amazing and will always be there for us. We will continue to praise Him and glorify Him. He will get us through this, of that, I have no doubt!
We met with the oncologist yesterday and unfortunately, there was not much good news. He told us about three options. First option is surgery. The doctor does not believe that Greg is a good candidate for surgery. Because of his congestive heart failure and pacemaker/defibrillator, he is at "significantly high risk for surgical complications," including having a heart attack on the operating table. In addition, because of where the mass is located, there may not be enough of his esophagus above the tumor to be able to resect it once the tumor is removed. He needs at least 5mm, and he doesn't think there's enough. Even with this information, we are meeting with a surgeon on Tuesday.
Another option is chemotherapy alone. Chemo alone is not enough to destroy the tumor and destroy the cancer. Period. We have already ruled this out.
Last option is radiation and chemotherapy. The radiation will reduce the size of the tumor and the chemotherapy will destroy the cancer. However, there are other risks. First, because he had total body radiation during his bone marrow transplant, he may have already had enough radiation that his body cannot handle any more. Greg's radiation records are on their way to the radiation oncologist so he will have that information prior to our appointment on Friday. Not only that, but the radiation is going to cause enough damage to his esophagus that he will end up with a feeding tube. That's not a "maybe." That is 100% guaranteed. It's not going to be pretty.
Chemotherapy is also going to be brutal. Because he has had so much chemotherapy in the past, and his body has been so ravaged by the chemotherapy, he will not be able to start out at the "normal" dose that most other people would receive. So, he would start that on a tapered dose. He would receive the chemo 24/7, and the radiation would be every couple of days (if I remember correctly). This would be a seven week course of treatment. He will also have another Hickman Catheter implanted because his veins are shot from all the chemo, and because of the way the chemo will be administered.
Once see the two specialists, they will meet with our oncologist and come up with a plan of action.
In the meantime, we are looking into getting a second opinion at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. Our insurance has a nice travel benefit to go to one of their "Centers of Excellence" for second opinions and treatment, so we are going to take advantage of that. Our Case Manager is doing some research to see who may be the best doctor to see us. One of the good things about Mayo is that they will have an entire team of specialists to review Greg's records and come up with a treatment plan. What we are looking for is for them to either tell us that the treatment plan our current team comes up with is the plan that they would recommend. If Mayo comes up with something different, then we are hoping our oncologist will be receptive to following the protocol that Mayo comes up with.
So, that's what's going on. It's going to be brutal. There's no other way to describe it. I don't know why the enemy is fighting so hard for us, but we are not giving in. Our God is amazing and will always be there for us. We will continue to praise Him and glorify Him. He will get us through this, of that, I have no doubt!
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
Today's the Day!
Well, today's the day. The day we find out what Greg's treatment options are and here I sit with my limpy limbs -- I had a training session with Ian yesterday, so my arms feel like rubber. Greg told me to take my limpy limbs to bed! LOL So, it's 5 in the morning and I'm unable to sleep. I was exhausted yesterday because I hardly got any sleep on Sunday because of massive thunderstorms. My weather radio went off four times! Here I thought I'd be able to sleep longer, seeing as I didn't have to get up with an alarm, but my body said nope, not happening.
So many things are running through my head right now, and most of them are not good. I've mentioned in the past that Easter time scares me because so many bad things have happened at this time of year. This Thursday, Holy Thursday, marks 25 years since Greg was first diagnosed with cancer. I'll never forget that day. I'm not going to rehash it here. Suffice it to say, I was a terrified young wife, only 25 years old, with a one year old son. Fast forward to April 12, 2000 (Aaron's 9th birthday, by the way), and we find Greg having a bone marrow transplant. Tomorrow marks 17 years since his transplant. The day his brother saved his life. Since that first diagnosis, we had two miracle babies (chemo usually makes you sterile!), built a house, moved up north, opened and closed our own business, started raising chickens (who'd have thunk it!), and best of all, found new life in Jesus!
Now, almost 17 years to the day of his transplant, we are heading to the Oncologist office to find out how we are going to battle esophageal cancer. Greg is back to his usual (cancer fighting) self. Let's get this going! Whatever needs to be done, he does, usually with a smile while I'm the one cringing. It's a little different this time, because my girls are older. They were too young 17 years ago to really understand how horrific that time in our lives was and how scared I really was. Now, they are adults, and they are scared. While they were used to health issues with Greg, that was just his heart. I know that sounds callous, but when you have congestive heart failure, your family learns how to deal with frequent hospitalizations. This is different. I'm not sure how Aaron is feeling about this. He was 9 when Greg had his transplant. I know he remembers a lot of what happened. I just don't know how he's feeling about all this. To be honest, I'm scared, too. Who wouldn't be? We try to be tough and say, well, this is our third time dealing with cancer, we're used to it. But you know what, we're NOT used to it. No one EVER "gets used to it."
So, here I am rambling at 5 a.m., just waiting for time to pass before our appointment at noon.
So many things are running through my head right now, and most of them are not good. I've mentioned in the past that Easter time scares me because so many bad things have happened at this time of year. This Thursday, Holy Thursday, marks 25 years since Greg was first diagnosed with cancer. I'll never forget that day. I'm not going to rehash it here. Suffice it to say, I was a terrified young wife, only 25 years old, with a one year old son. Fast forward to April 12, 2000 (Aaron's 9th birthday, by the way), and we find Greg having a bone marrow transplant. Tomorrow marks 17 years since his transplant. The day his brother saved his life. Since that first diagnosis, we had two miracle babies (chemo usually makes you sterile!), built a house, moved up north, opened and closed our own business, started raising chickens (who'd have thunk it!), and best of all, found new life in Jesus!
Now, almost 17 years to the day of his transplant, we are heading to the Oncologist office to find out how we are going to battle esophageal cancer. Greg is back to his usual (cancer fighting) self. Let's get this going! Whatever needs to be done, he does, usually with a smile while I'm the one cringing. It's a little different this time, because my girls are older. They were too young 17 years ago to really understand how horrific that time in our lives was and how scared I really was. Now, they are adults, and they are scared. While they were used to health issues with Greg, that was just his heart. I know that sounds callous, but when you have congestive heart failure, your family learns how to deal with frequent hospitalizations. This is different. I'm not sure how Aaron is feeling about this. He was 9 when Greg had his transplant. I know he remembers a lot of what happened. I just don't know how he's feeling about all this. To be honest, I'm scared, too. Who wouldn't be? We try to be tough and say, well, this is our third time dealing with cancer, we're used to it. But you know what, we're NOT used to it. No one EVER "gets used to it."
So, here I am rambling at 5 a.m., just waiting for time to pass before our appointment at noon.
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
Preliminary PET scan report!
Greg had his second endoscopy yesterday at Aspirus in Medford. They had a problem getting an IV in again (they said he has "tough" skin), and his veins are shot from all the chemo he's had in the past. He was to have his PET scan today, and would need another IV. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking . . . why can't they leave the IV in, so he doesn't have to have it done again? Well, lo and behold, they checked with the providers doing the PET scan (Aspirus Hospital in Wausau), and they said SURE, they could definitely try to use the one from Tuesday, but if it didn't work, they would have to poke him again.
Fortunately for Greg, it worked and he did not have to be poked again! YAY! We certainly were not expecting any results today, but we did get preliminary results!
They do not believe they saw an swollen lymph nodes or spreading of his cancer! YAY! That is the BEST news we could have possibly received! PRAISE GOD!
We still do not know what stage his cancer is, but will find that out, along with our plan of attack on Tuesday. Please continue your prayers for Greg! Our AWESOME God is listening! Thank you, everyone!
Fortunately for Greg, it worked and he did not have to be poked again! YAY! We certainly were not expecting any results today, but we did get preliminary results!
They do not believe they saw an swollen lymph nodes or spreading of his cancer! YAY! That is the BEST news we could have possibly received! PRAISE GOD!
We still do not know what stage his cancer is, but will find that out, along with our plan of attack on Tuesday. Please continue your prayers for Greg! Our AWESOME God is listening! Thank you, everyone!
Saturday, April 1, 2017
What a LONG day!
We are babysitting Erica's dog, Aspen for the weekend, and because he's not here all the time, the boys (dogs) just want to play and play and play and play. We ended up putting Minnow and Mater downstairs in the office, and had Aspen in our bedroom overnight. By 4 a.m., Aspen wanted to go out, and Mater was getting stupid and barking to get out of the office. Greg had his earphones in and music on, so he didn't hear anything. While I wanted to get up and put some overtime in, I wasn't planning on starting until 5:30 or so. Because of the dogs, I ended up starting to work at 4:15 a.m.! It's now 7:30, and I'm pooped!
Once I was done working at 10:00 a.m., I spent the rest of the day cleaning and cooking. Rachel's mom (Rachel is Aaron's fiancé) and some other folks are coming over tomorrow, as we have "stuff" to do. Obviously, I had to get some cleaning done! I spring cleaned the small bathroom, cleaned the kitchen, washed the floor, went to the grocery store, and made some munchies for tomorrow!
I made a low carb cream cheese dip with dry Ranch dressing, green onions, cream cheese, sour cream, bacon and cheddar cheese. This one will be eaten with cucumber slices, to keep it low carb. Then I made a Reuben Dip, which is just what it sounds like! Diced corned beef, cream cheese, sauerkraut, thousand island dressing and Swiss cheese. That is a hot dip, so it's in my little crockpot. I also made some Salsa wraps with cream cheese, salsa, Mexican shredded cheese and minced onion. I mixed all that together and spread it on burrito size tortillas and then rolled them and sliced them. The last one I made is my famous spinach dip! I basically use the recipe on the package of Knorr Vegetable Soup Mix, but tweak it a bit. It's amazing!
I was listening to my Christian Music Favorites on Spotify while I was working, and I must say, with everything that's going on right now, too many of them really made me emotional. The other day at work, I was listening to the same music in my headphones, and I just sat there with tears pouring down my face as I listened. Fortunately, no one saw me! I don't think I've had enough time to process what's happening with Greg. I'd been so involved in the battle with the insurance company, that I wasn't letting the reality of everything set in. I don't know that I'm even at that point yet. I'm pretty sure I won't be at that point until after we see the oncologist on April 11th.
One of my favorite new songs is by the Sidewalk Prophets. I saw them in concert about 4 years ago with Matthew West. It was incredible! The song is called IMPOSSIBLE. Here are the lyrics. Once you read them, you will understand why this song is resonating with me right now.
They tell me that I can't
Tell me that I won't
Tell me that I'm washed up
Tell me that I'm broke
They tell me that I don't
Don't have what it takes
Tell me that I'm crazy
Hanging on by faith
Tell me I'm a lost cause
I'm a hopeless soul
Just stand back watch my God do
The impossible, the impossible
Everything is possible
With him everything is possible, is possible
Everything is possible
Everything is possible
Precious God you bring life from death
With your word all of time began
Is possible, the impossible
Everything is possible
Watch our God do the impossible
Some would say it's foolish
Stepping on the ways
Some would say it's over
When you're buried in the grave
We're calling all the dreamers
With passion in their eyes
Calling all believers out into the light
Even when it's hopeless
Out of our control
Just let go, watch our God do
The impossible, the impossible
Everything is possible
With him everything is possible, is possible
Everything is possible
Everything is possible
Precious God you bring life from death
With your word all of time began
Is possible, the impossible
Everything is possible
Watch our God do the impossible
When our God speaks
The mountains roar
The whole earth trembles with the throne
Though this life can be
His glorious break enlights the sun
When our hope is lost
When our strength is gone
He is rising up
We will overcome
The impossible, the impossible
Everything is possible
With him everything is possible, is possible
Everything is possible
Everything is possible
Precious God you bring life from death
With your word all of time began
Is possible, the impossible
Everything is possible
Watch our God do the impossible
When our hope is lost
When our strength is gone
He is rising up
We will overcome
Here's their official video. I hope it moves you the way it moves me.
We serve an amazing God. I know that what appears impossible to us is entirely possible with God. My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is on the throne and will carry us through everything! There is nothing the enemy can do that will stop us from praising God!
Once I was done working at 10:00 a.m., I spent the rest of the day cleaning and cooking. Rachel's mom (Rachel is Aaron's fiancé) and some other folks are coming over tomorrow, as we have "stuff" to do. Obviously, I had to get some cleaning done! I spring cleaned the small bathroom, cleaned the kitchen, washed the floor, went to the grocery store, and made some munchies for tomorrow!
I made a low carb cream cheese dip with dry Ranch dressing, green onions, cream cheese, sour cream, bacon and cheddar cheese. This one will be eaten with cucumber slices, to keep it low carb. Then I made a Reuben Dip, which is just what it sounds like! Diced corned beef, cream cheese, sauerkraut, thousand island dressing and Swiss cheese. That is a hot dip, so it's in my little crockpot. I also made some Salsa wraps with cream cheese, salsa, Mexican shredded cheese and minced onion. I mixed all that together and spread it on burrito size tortillas and then rolled them and sliced them. The last one I made is my famous spinach dip! I basically use the recipe on the package of Knorr Vegetable Soup Mix, but tweak it a bit. It's amazing!
I was listening to my Christian Music Favorites on Spotify while I was working, and I must say, with everything that's going on right now, too many of them really made me emotional. The other day at work, I was listening to the same music in my headphones, and I just sat there with tears pouring down my face as I listened. Fortunately, no one saw me! I don't think I've had enough time to process what's happening with Greg. I'd been so involved in the battle with the insurance company, that I wasn't letting the reality of everything set in. I don't know that I'm even at that point yet. I'm pretty sure I won't be at that point until after we see the oncologist on April 11th.
One of my favorite new songs is by the Sidewalk Prophets. I saw them in concert about 4 years ago with Matthew West. It was incredible! The song is called IMPOSSIBLE. Here are the lyrics. Once you read them, you will understand why this song is resonating with me right now.
They tell me that I can't
Tell me that I won't
Tell me that I'm washed up
Tell me that I'm broke
They tell me that I don't
Don't have what it takes
Tell me that I'm crazy
Hanging on by faith
Tell me I'm a lost cause
I'm a hopeless soul
Just stand back watch my God do
The impossible, the impossible
Everything is possible
With him everything is possible, is possible
Everything is possible
Everything is possible
Precious God you bring life from death
With your word all of time began
Is possible, the impossible
Everything is possible
Watch our God do the impossible
Some would say it's foolish
Stepping on the ways
Some would say it's over
When you're buried in the grave
We're calling all the dreamers
With passion in their eyes
Calling all believers out into the light
Even when it's hopeless
Out of our control
Just let go, watch our God do
The impossible, the impossible
Everything is possible
With him everything is possible, is possible
Everything is possible
Everything is possible
Precious God you bring life from death
With your word all of time began
Is possible, the impossible
Everything is possible
Watch our God do the impossible
When our God speaks
The mountains roar
The whole earth trembles with the throne
Though this life can be
His glorious break enlights the sun
When our hope is lost
When our strength is gone
He is rising up
We will overcome
The impossible, the impossible
Everything is possible
With him everything is possible, is possible
Everything is possible
Everything is possible
Precious God you bring life from death
With your word all of time began
Is possible, the impossible
Everything is possible
Watch our God do the impossible
When our hope is lost
When our strength is gone
He is rising up
We will overcome
Here's their official video. I hope it moves you the way it moves me.
We serve an amazing God. I know that what appears impossible to us is entirely possible with God. My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is on the throne and will carry us through everything! There is nothing the enemy can do that will stop us from praising God!
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